Trustfall

Posted on October 4, 2016 by adrienneorris

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2

I recently read my very first post on my blog and nothing seems to have changed. This life we live essentially is a trustfall – for you, for me, for all of us that put our hope in something that is unseen. Here is that post – trustfall

Four summers ago I stared at my blog and wondered what name I wanted to give to it, because I thought that be important. It would be a constant reminder to me of why I do the things that I do. I settled on “Trustfall” because a life lived in a foreign country is always going to be founded on trust that God is who He says He is and will catch me with each cliff that I step off of. Most of the time there is an element of blind faith that enters into the path of obedience. And this weekend, I sat in church and listened to a message that resonated in my heart. Resonated with the fact that I am called to run a race and not just remain on the treadmill in training. And so my eyes focus ahead of me, feeling as if I am at that cusp of the trust fall again. Feeling as if there is much unknown around the bend. And still, I run. Eyes focused forward. Trusting. And it is with that that I step into whatever God has for me in October. I look to Him, the author and finisher of our faith to set the road before me, to put the boards in place , to take that walk of trust. Let’s all take that leap of faith this month and trust that God is who He says He is an amidst the chaos of life, He is able.

Complete

Posted on September 20, 2016 by adrienneorris

Isaiah writes…

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts…. So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

There are words that sometimes creep into my mind when my mind is still. Irresponsibility. One of the words that floats into my mind on a weekly basis. One of the words that I have had to dismiss. One of the words I have labeled as a lie that has tugged at my heart some over the last few months. Never have I not worked. Never have I not had ten projects to do when I finished the one I was working on. Never did I not have an agenda to fill. And so as I have waded through these last months of complete chaos to me without a predetermined agenda, the word irresponsible continued to come to mind. I know that I wasn’t irresponsible through it, yet it was this complete reverse of what I was used to that it feels like chaos at times. I know I was to rest, but in my mind I tried to put some sort of order to that rest.

But whenever I tried to be responsible. Whenever I tried to have a schedule or a time frame or expectations, they ended in closed doors. I tried to find some part time work, closed doors. I tried to put life in neat boxes, closed door. I tried to make a schedule, it changed.

And so what that did was to put me on God’s time.

A complete surrender.

And the result of that was to experience complete provision. It wasn’t what I was looking for. It wasn’t my expectation. But God threw out dates and experiences and circumstances that can only make sense in His timing. Provision in a way that I hadn’t really experienced before. Reminding me that all I do, wherever I am is really His anyway. And His provision has strengthened my faith more than anything else during the last months.

And so, as I reflect on Isaiah’s words, as I look to make God’s thoughts my thoughts and God’s ways my ways. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I only want God’s timing. Because He is the one that never fails. God knows the purpose. God promises that His words do not return void. And so, as His words resonate in my mind, my prayer is that it accomplishes what He purposed.

It is sort of like a telescope. Those ones where you can extend it and extend it and extend it. With each new level you see new things, have new experiences, and gain new understanding. Once you start to extend the telescope out, you don’t want to stop. You want to see the intricate pieces behind the workings of the universe. And so it is with our lives as well. Through each experience, through each season, around each bend, we gain invaluable experiences that take us deeper and deeper in understanding and perspective of how God puts the pieces together. I am grateful for each experience, although painful some might be, that grow me deeper and deeper and expand my perspective.

And so what that left me to do was to search myself, to hear God clearer and to develop a different perspective.

A deeper perspective.

Rest

Posted on August 5, 2016 by adrienneorris

Rest.

Some people rest well. I am not that person.

There are times in my life that rest seems to allude me. Like in the middle of basketball season and teaching and serving in the church. Even on a day where I might try to rest, a deep level of rest doesn’t come. I might nap. I might be able to quiet my thoughts for a bit or distract myself. But that’s just a momentary rest. It is not a clear the mind all the way down to the soul kind of rest.

Or life in Guatemala. Where each day is unpredictable. It is a restful place nestled in the mountains. But there is always the next thing to do and I am not a person that can quiet my brain from the next thing. I think ahead, brainstorm. I think of what has just happened, am burdened to pray for someone or what I can be doing to help with part of a project. On my Sabbath I will head to the mountain and sit in quietness and can quiet myself for a bit. But the rest doesn’t soak in. It isn’t permanent. As soon as I descend the mountain, the rest slowly disappears and leaves me longing for the next Sabbath.

As I’ve been back in the states, I’ve taken advantage of my time with others who have served overseas for decades and asked them, “How long do you have to be home before you can truly rest?” And I didn’t like their answers. Four months. Six months. Sometimes the full year that they were on furlough. Or I’d ask, “What did you do while on the field to rest?” And they’d chuckle and say, something like you just pretend to rest. There is no opportunity to rest on the field. To me having to rest is less restful than interacting and being around people sometimes.

But I have heard it said, “The greater the resistance, the greater the need.”

And I had plenty of resistance to the thought of rest. If resistance is any indication of a need, I decided to take the path of least resistance and obey (after a few weeks of resistance of course). I knew part of what God was asking of me was to rest during this summer . To do something out of my character. I wasn’t sure how to explain that or embrace it. But He has shown me, slowly, what the purpose of rest is.

And then I read this…. “ If we are going to consistently spot the hand of God in our lives, we must cultivate a quiet, unhurried soul in a noisy, busy world. Busyness can mask the soul’s emptiness for a season, but eventually the soul’s poverty is somehow revealed when we do not rest. God calls out of our busyness into divine inactivity. It is purposeful inactivity where we attune to His presence and enter His rest. Human inactivity is often escapism. Yet Divine inactivity is restful, reparative and restorative. These quick days of rest cannot bring the rest of the Spirit’s presence.”

And I read it again. With a desire to get what was being said about the purpose of rest. But even more, I read it because I had a thirst to see the hand of God in every aspect of my life. I thought about activity and inactivity. My desire in life is never to be inactive. But I do desire to rest. And as I compared the two, I realized that God has designed divine inactivity to reach our innermost soul. So that we can say…. It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And it as if when I said Yes to God, about being obedient to the rest, that He said Yes to rejuvenating my soul. It is not like me to not have a schedule. It is not like me to be able to be content with not knowing what tomorrow will bring. And it is not like me to just sit back and allow God to fill my days and ordain my conversations without any time of schedule making. But that is what he has called me to in this last month+.

Jim Elliot was a missionary who was killed in Ecuador years ago. And I admire the joy and boldness that surrounded him. One of his famous lines was, “Where ever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” When I look at Jim’s life, I see a man who was passionate about what God put on His plate. But I also see a man who knew the Presence of God. And knew how to rest. And so, whatever season God takes me through, I want to live it out without regret.

Martha or Mary

Posted on July 30, 2016 by adrienneorris

mary martha

Were you designed like Martha or like Mary?

Martha was the one that saw what needed to be done and did it. Mary was the one who lived in the moment and was not bothered by anything beyond that second. Martha planned. Mary sat. Martha loved Jesus through service. Mary loved Jesus through focused attention.

Anyone that knows me well knows that I’m a Martha. Sitting is not in my vocabulary Focus is not in my vocabulary. I have always felt like Martha received a bad rap. So maybe I am more inclined to defend her. To me, both Martha and Mary worshiped Jesus. Both loved Jesus equally. Worship can happen while you are moving. Undoubtedly my best times of worship have been alone on a run – while I was moving. But I will admit that I have often found a rock to sit on and let it soak in as the words flood into my mind.

I have spent years trying to make my Martha personality into a Mary. Jesus said what Mary had to offer was better. I wanted to know what it was like to be a Mary. I want to offer what is best. To wake up early to pray. To sit through a prayer set in complete worship. To immediately think that all you had to do that day was worship Jesus.

And yet there were those people that could do just that. God gifts some with the ability to be a Mary and focus in on the one thing, and God gifts some with the ability like Martha to see the needs of others, to see how to reach out. Yet in teaching, or worshiping I always wondered what it would be like to be Mary. What that would feel like. And so I spent years of my life sitting like Mary did, yet feeling like Martha would have felt just sitting.

I had this interesting time of broadening my understanding recently as I was not even thinking about Martha or Mary. I was focusing on a list of things that tend to hold us back – pride, anger, jealousy, bitterness, passivity, fear, rebellion, anxiety, depression and I was thinking about how to eliminate these from my thought patterns. And my immediate thought was to pray against each one that it would be gone. To expose it and erase it. A quick fix. Simple. Just like Martha would have done it.

But as I pondered more and let my mind float from thought to thought, I began to think deeper. I saw the importance of focusing on each one and eliminating all of the factors that go into that thought pattern. Like eliminating the roots and the branches. Just like I am sure Mary would have done. To not worry about other hang-ups in your life. But to focus on eliminating just one. And as I thought further, I realized that neither way is the solution. Both are needed. I need the introspective thoughts of Mary to be able to reveal the roots and patterns. I need to be patient and wait just like she would wait. I need to sit with Jesus and think about just that one thing and not everything else that leads from it. And yet I need the drive of Martha to see what needs to be done and take action. I need to recognize it is there and press on to eliminate it. Without one, the other would not completely work.

It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes as a teenager. Life is like riding a two wheeled bike. Keep pedaling or you will fall off. I am sure that Martha and Mary did not make a good bike riding team. Martha was always pedaling ahead and keeping her bike going, calling back to Mary to catch up. And Mary stopped to pick each wildflower and admire each sunset. Mary taught Martha how to see beauty in each situation. And Martha ensured that Mary had the opportunity to see more than just one field of flowers.

Press on. Pick the flowers. Admire the beauty. And then look for the next one.

Phase One Opening

Posted on July 21, 2016 by adrienneorris

The Day clinic part of the Hospital is officially open. Here are some pictures from the first day of clinic.

The undertaking of a hospital in a third world country is no small task. And as I sifted through pictures, I thought it would be appropriate to show just what it has taken for these walls to open.

All sand and rock had to be brought from the river. And then crushed. Sifted. And then washed so as to make strong enough cement.

The ground was built up so that it was flat and at the correct elevation.

The footers were dug. Foundation poured. All of the rebar had to be cut and bent by hand and tied together.

Plumbing and electrical work had to be completed before floors could be poured.

Crews worked together to mix cement and pour it – room by room.

Walls were erected block by block with reinforcement columns to make sure the building was earthquake proof.

The well was dug to ensure that the hospital never ran out of water.

Pipes were laid to connect the sewer system and the second floor/ roof was poured.

The roof was constructed from steel and each piece was welded together. And then the insulation and roofing was attached.

Interior walls were erected and electricity and plumbing connected in each of the rooms.

The sewage tank was dug, Poured. And dried.

All of the block had to be covered twice by a coating on the block to create smooth walls. The floors were cleaned, stained and coated.

Finishing touches like drywall and closets were constructed. Each window, door , cabinet and table had to be made from scratch and installed.

The truth is that this only details a little snapshot of what when together to build this. God truly has brought together a team – of workers, donators, financial supporters, staff. There are so many other steps that I won’t even highlight. You get the point. It has been a lot of work. All starting as an act of obedience to what God has asked Adonai to do.

Here is the old clinic.

And here stands the new one.

The Call

Posted on July 7, 2016 by adrienneorris

I have been asked numerous times in the last week, “How did you know you were supposed to leave when you did?” And that question takes me back three years. Really six years. There are times in my life where I sense God pressing upon me something – that I am to move forward, encourage someone, or that something is about to change in my life. Many of those times have happened as I sat in conversation with people and I have a sensation that comes over me as I realize that what is being talked about in the group is something God is speaking to me about directly. And knowing that God was pursuing me about Guatemala was one of those times….

Six years ago we were sitting around the table in the evening and brainstorming about the possibility of a hospital. Duane had been given a direct word from God about moving forward and constructing a hospital to serve the people. And we were talking about the possibility and how that could happen. We had to have more staff, without question. And doctors. And into my mind popped the idea that it would happen. God gave me the idea of a possibility and I remember talking about how there would be a rotating group of doctors that would come down that were all connected. And through them we would have the possibility of staffing the hospital. We talked about the possibility of this and how rare it would be for doctors to be part of a practice like this. But the thought stuck with me. I remember processing through this with confidence that it was a real possibility and how God was moving. And as the summer came to a close and I headed back to the states, I can remember praying through how it would all work to build a hospital and the still small voice of God telling me that when we proceeded forward with the hospital project, that would be the same time I would need to be there permanently. Yet that time was not here yet.

And so the thought was shelved. Pushed to the back of my mind. Every now and then I would think about it as I communicated with those in Guatemala and returned. But there was the same talk every summer. Until the DOCS for Hope ( http://www.docsforhope.org/our-story.html ) group found us. Through a random connection. I can remember when Leslie called to tell me about this group. I can remember exactly where I stood. The thoughts that ran through my mind. What I was wearing. And my response. Those are the moments that I think God engrains within us to remind later when we ask, “What made you do this?” It was a confirmation moment. I didn’t immediately pack my bags and leave. Four months passed. But the decision was a lot quicker to make because of the conversation that happened three years before. It was more of a call towards obedience than it was of what I wanted to do. God kept on asking, “Are you willing to obey me?” I loved my job. I loved teaching. I had a comfortable life. I loved my community. But the taste of disobedience gives a bitter taste to life and so…. I pressed on towards the call. Towards obedience. And I thank God for his grace. For not having it hit me suddenly. That it was years of living the call that led up to that moment. It wasn’t easy, yet it was worth it.

The table where I sat that evening and had that discussion. Here it is being used for our Friday night worship/ outreach to those within our community. One of my favorite nights of the week.

Desperate Days

Posted on May 23, 2016 by adrienneorris

The third suicide in a month.

The words keep playing in my mind. How desolate is an area where there are three suicides in one month. An area as small as ours. Lives of young people. Young people that had a future. And on top of that, I think about all of the attempted suicides that occurred. It is talked about as commonplace. It is sad that the word suicide is used among young people here as even an option.

The signs are everywhere. Pictures in facebook or as personal imagines on messaging accounts. In the faces of those on the streets. In the way that kids talk about suicide, being a bother to others and their futures. The number of young folks that are leaving illegally to the states – weekly. There is a lack of work. A lack of options for the future. A lack of hope.

Without Jesus.

And yet we fight this battle daily here. The upside of hope. Trying to instill a life with Jesus. A life of hope. A life that shows something different. A way to provide for families.

I fight. My heart fights. I listen. I remind kids of hope.

With Jesus.

Because the desperation is real. Because the darkness around suicide often clouds a teen’s thinking so that they can’t see a life any other way. And they can’t comprehend a different life with Jesus either. I asked some students this week why they think this is happening so common here and they talked about how you can make the decision so quickly – without even thinking. And also about the lack of help here. The lack of those willing to support struggling kids. The combination of the two has not given this area a reprieve.

I cling to a message that I heard from a youngster this year. He had the courage to get up in front of his peers and talk about how he turned his back on God. How he walked away from what he was taught and what he knew. How he was living a different life. And yet Jesus pursued him and he realized that there was really only one way. He gave up all that he was caught up in and pursued Jesus back. And to me it was encouraging to see his courage to speak to his peers – and to speak out against the drugs and alcohol and suicide in this area. To look at his peers and say that there is hope. To look to his peers and ask for forgiveness for going against God’s ways and not being who God intended for him to be.

Because there is hope. When we allow Jesus to pursue us.

And so this is my prayer for this area – that hearts would turn away from the cry of desperation and turn towards pursuing truth. Would you pray for this area. Would you pray for the youth. Would you pray for the women that have been left with their children. Would you pray for healing within families. That all could ee something different for their futures. That the young people could see the hope that lies in their generation.

About there

Posted on May 18, 2016 by adrienneorris

Watching the walls go up went fast. Or at least it seemed fast. The finishing touches always take a lot longer. The men are hooking up water and plumbing and working to complete the doors. Each of these components take time…. but it is getting there. Take a look.

Drywall is not practical or readily available here so the walls each need to be finished by hand.

Drywall is not practical or readily available here so the walls each need to be finished by hand. We are lucky to have a team that works so well together to do this process.

The water tanks for storage

Finishing off the roof

The interior courtyard.

The second story – laying more block.

An aerial view.

Storage for the prayer room.

Setting up the Lab

Posted on May 12, 2016 by adrienneorris

When I went to college, one of the best decisions that I made was to find myself a good lab partner. Someone who could measure and use the equipment and actually found it interesting to work with machines. I enjoyed lab more for the people and the social atomosphere of working around a table than what we were actually doing and my least favorite labs were the ones dealing with microbiology and cells. I could tell you each person that I worked with in lab, yet I am pressed to even remember 10 labs that I did although it is where I spent two or three afternoons a week for four years.

Yet I am thankful for these times because it has at least given me a stepstool into an area that I have been helping with – setting up the lab. We have had a few machines that have been working part of the time to test blood for different conditions. But as the hospital becomes a reality, the lab part of the hospital will be more and more important. The doctors have created a wish list of what they would like to be able to do. And I have researched and called and emailed providers within country to see how we can acquire the machines and tests to be able to do these procedures. Listening to Spanish on the phone and using a vocabulary of words that you don’t even know in English has been a challenge, but it looks like we are moving in the right direction.

Honestly, I have had a few frustrations as my brain and skill set are not gifted in the area of machines. I currently have been working on this machine for over a month trying to figure out how to get the belt to pick up the disc so that it can be read. In the process another machine went down. And so, if there is a biotech out there or someone who loves troubleshooting machines or lab work, I would more than welcome your help.

The goal in the next month is to move from this lab

To this lab

Where there are obviously more electrical outlets, space and light.

The lab is not just a large need for the hospital, but the community as a whole. Currently many of the schools and the governmental health clinics require lab tests to enter programs or receive treatment. If patients want to proceed, they have to pay for transportation to and from Quiche which is a two hour drive away. Plus they have to pay for their tests, etc. And they have to hope that these machines work. They will have to pay with us as well, but it is our hope that the tests will be available and accessible to the community as well.

And so little by little, each room of the hospital becomes a reality.

He has Risen

Posted on April 24, 2016 by adrienneorris

Every year I am sure that I have written about Holy Week – Semana Santa. And yet every year it has not changed. There is this darkness, this oppression, this heaviness that comes with this time of year. I spent the weekend before Holy Week traveling and was in Antigua on Palm Sunday. This is the day that Jesus came into Jerusalem. It ushers in the Easter celebration. For Christians around the world, Easter represents hope. And yet even as I traveled, even as Holy Week came and went here, there was a heaviness that evaded us. It is a mixture of many cultures, many traditions here and many gods. As one of my friends who endured much festivity for days directly in front of her house of darkness put it…. it is more like unholy week here than holy week. As the time for Easter approached, I decided that I wanted to try and gain an understanding of what was on the minds of those around me. And so the question I asked to many of the Guatemalans that I interact with on a daily basis was…. Which day of the most important day of Holy Week? Or which day should we celebrate the most? Most of them said Friday is the most important day. Some of them said no day. But none of them said Sunday. And when I explained to them the significance of the resurrection, I still am not sure that they understood why Christians celebrate the resurrection.

And even as Easter came to pass here, it was so weird. It was as if they missed the celebration. During the week there was definitely an air of happening in town. As Friday approached the stores shut down, there were less people in town and the celebration was happening. But Saturday came and they cleaned up the streets and resumed normal life. As we celebrated Easter on Sunday, I went into town and had an eerie feeling. I was celebrating a day that didn’t exist to those in town. The shops were open again and life had resumed.

As I write this, Easter has passed, but let us not forget that we have reason to celebrate Easter – the Resurrection – each day. I am thankful for the community of believers that are here. That we can still celebrate together and that we live in a country with the freedom to celebrate when and how we want. Christ is risen. He has risen indeed. Les we not forget that we are all on this journey – and each day counts!

Traveling with friends over Holy Week.

Antigua is known for their carpets that they lay throughout the streets as they have processions daily. A lot of work for a short period of time…. but definitely something to appreciate. There are pagan roots and the Easter Story isn’t quite reflected correctly, but I have an appreciation for the art.

Our sunrise service – the highlight of Easter for me each year since I was little… imagining I was Mary walking to that tomb…. and realizing that He was the Messiah and has Risen! What excitement!