Complete

Isaiah writes…

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts…. So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

 There are words that sometimes creep into my mind when my mind is still.  Irresponsibility. One of the words that floats into my mind on a weekly basis.  One of the words that I have had to dismiss.  One of the words I have labeled as a  lie that has tugged at my heart some over the last few months.  Never have I not worked.  Never have I not had ten projects to do when I finished the one I was working on.  Never did I not have an agenda to fill.  And so as I have waded through these last months of complete chaos to me without a predetermined agenda, the word irresponsible continued to come to mind.  I know that I wasn’t irresponsible through it, yet it was this complete reverse of what I was used to that it feels like chaos at times.  I know I was to rest, but in my mind I tried to put some sort of order to that rest.

But whenever I tried to be responsible.  Whenever I tried to have a schedule or a time frame or expectations, they ended in closed doors.  I tried to find some part time work, closed doors.  I tried to put life in neat boxes, closed door.  I tried to make a schedule, it changed.

And so what that did was to put me on God’s time.

 A complete surrender.

 And the result of that was to experience complete provision.  It wasn’t what I was looking for.  It wasn’t my expectation.  But God threw out dates and experiences and circumstances that can only make sense in His timing.  Provision in a way that I hadn’t really experienced before.  Reminding me that all I do, wherever I am is really His anyway.  And His provision has strengthened my faith more than anything else during the last months.

And so, as I reflect on Isaiah’s words, as I look to make God’s thoughts my thoughts and God’s ways my ways.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I only want God’s timing.  Because He is the one that never fails.  God knows the purpose.  God promises that His words do not return void.  And so, as His words resonate in my mind, my prayer is that it accomplishes what He purposed.

It is sort of like a telescope.  Those ones where you can extend it and extend it and extend it.  With each new level you see new things, have new experiences, and gain new understanding.  Once you start to extend the telescope out, you don’t want to stop.  You want to see the intricate pieces behind the workings of the universe.  And so it is with our lives as well.  Through each experience, through each season, around each bend, we gain invaluable experiences that take us deeper and deeper in understanding and perspective of how God puts the pieces together.  I am grateful for each experience, although painful some might be, that grow me deeper and deeper and expand my perspective.

 And so what that left me to do was to search myself, to hear God clearer and to develop a different perspective.

 A deeper perspective.

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