Grateful

Posted on December 6, 2015 by adrienneorris

As the holiday season comes and goes, the word that I’ve had on my heart more than thankful, is grateful. I spent much time around Thanksgiving explaining to the Guatemalans what this holiday means to us…. And then in personal reflection over things that I was thankful for this month.

There are many changes that living in a third world country has brought about to me – in changing my perspective. When you grow up surrounded by safe, or relatively safe, there are many things that we often do not consider. But as I see suffering all around me. As I spend time questioning customs or beliefs or ways of doing things… I realize that I have been beyond blessed. I have suffered minimally. I do not know injustice. I have not had to truly live without. In everything that I have done I have had a banquet before me – I have had options. What activities do I want to participate in? Where do I want to go to college? What do I want to study? Where do I want to live? What kind of house do I want? What car will I drive? What will I eat today?

And so grateful is the word that I focus on. It is easy here as there are few things to compare to. Few things to actually want. And the life in the states is shut off in your mind. Then there are those days that are hard. There are those days when what should have taken an hour took the entire morning. There are those days where the sun is setting and you think, I was just beginning. I often find myself wondering, why is it so hard here. It is emotionally draining. It is spiritually draining. It is time draining. If I didn’t have a clock here, I would think that the days were 18 hour days here and not 24 hour days. But in the midst of living through the hard, I think about the people around me – often. They do not know the difference. They do not think about a life that could be different. Because they do not know different. They do not know that not everyone in the world prepares all of their food from scratch , or that to me it is odd to eat the same thing, every day. They have never seen a closet stocked with clothes arranged by color or seen a grocery store where you can buy food already prepared for you. They do not know what it is like to travel on a super highway to multitask. Likewise though, they do not know what it is like to not be cold, to have plenty of food and more clothes than you can imagine. They do not know what it is to have a house large enough that each person has their own room and can make it whatever temperature they want. Or to be able to choose whether they want ham, turkey, bacon or chicken on their sub sandwich. Or that hot water is an expectation along with carpet on floors. And so I am grateful. I am grateful to know the difference and to have lived with conveniences most of my life. I am grateful to have another perspective and to have seen beyond this tiny town here. Yes it is hard to be stripped of the conveniences that we often as Americans think are our rights…. But there is freedom as well in having little, living on what you have and not having to make choices – because there is not other option.

Grateful. That is what I am this holiday season. Even though I live simpler than I lived while I was in the states. Even if my skirt has a hole in it or my sweatshirt is faded. I am grateful. When I am slowed down by this culture. When something takes all day that in the states would have taken a minute. I remind myself to be grateful. I have come into a different culture. And I need to live by the cultural guidelines that are here…. And I am grateful to have known something different.

Yes…. I tell myself all of these things today because I am about to do a cultural hop again and be in the states for Christmas… and so I mentally prepare for the culture shock of convenience.

Heading to work….. and the most “convenient” way to get good beef around here….

Eyes that see

Posted on October 25, 2015 by adrienneorris

I continue to see this verse and it has been one to encourage me during my season here in Guatemala. It is easy to hide. To hide from the states and all that is going on there. To hide from the world and the changes that are continual here. To get into a routine here and be invisible to many. And so the reminder that we are seen by God, even through the trials is so very real.

Life here is hard. It is automatically harder because you are drawn away from your natural support base. You are in a land where you will forever live as a foreigner. It does not matter how many years you are here, how many sacrifices you make or how many times you help someone. The reminder that you are a foreigner is daily.

In choosing to live here, I am choosing to be separated from my family and friends. And this automatically gives me a sense of lonliness and isolation. It is not like moving to a new town where the first few months are hard, but after that you find the neighbors that you click with, you reestablish friend groups, and you move on. No. This is different. You will never find a church where you feel at home. You will never be able to completely trust a neighbor. There will forever be cultural differences.

And although I am eternally grateful for the other Americans that are here – because we can sit down at a table and speak the same language and the same culture…. There are still differences. I love how God hand chose each family and person that is here. It shows his sense of humor. And when we talk about whether we would be friends if we lived in the states – the truth is that most of the people I live with would not be in my circle of community. But we are forced to live together and build community. There is underlying support because we are all in this together. We all have the same longings.

And so… when I am reminded that my God is the God that sees me, I am reminded that no matter the degree of isolation or loneliness that comes with living here and being single. No matter the degree of frustration that this is not my culture and this is not my home. No matter how many times I am misunderstood or have unmet expectations… God sees me right where I am and is willing to meet me there. And that alone is comfort. May we each be reminded of that truth – God sees us and instills hope in us right where we are.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Onward Ants

Posted on October 25, 2015 by adrienneorris

I have had this post in my head – every time I see ants. And in this valley, that is a lot. What impressed me most is their dedication and determination for a goal. I come across paths of ants that make a dark line across my path. And I stand and watch. Sometimes I even put a stick in their way or a pile of sand to watch what they will do. I try to change their path and confuse them. And always, I find that they are persistent towards their goal. And I find myself thinking that I could really learn from these ants.

Isn’t that how we should be also? Persistent towards your goal. And so I find myself asking myself so many times – what is my goal? How can we be more like these ants? God has given me an assignment and for right now it is here… how do I do that well? How can I have the determination of an ant? How can I move forward even when challenges come my way?

I notice ants here also because of the annoyance that they are. Recently a friend of mine said, “I don’t really mind the ants except for the ones that move so fast.” And I laughed internally because I cannot imagine liking ants. Of any species. They irritate me. They burn my skin. They bite me. They make me itch. For me it is impossible not to notice an ant on you – not for it’s size but by it’s bite. I don’t think that we should be that annoying or that we should inflict venom upon people like the ants, but I do think that at times we are called to be noticed. That we are called to be that thing that sticks out. That encourages. That scurries along undaunted by their task.

But even more than their persistence, what I think I like best about ants is that you never find them alone. No ant can exist by itself. It is part of the colony as a whole. Each ant with its own responsibility. Each ant contributing to the overall goal. Maybe that is what God had in mind when he created ants. For them to serve as an example to us of ultimate teamwork. United together. I think it is impossible to find an ant alone. Ants are found in the company of other ants. And we as Christians are also called to this same task – to march on even when there are obstacles in our path. Even when people come along and put a stick along the path. Together the ants work. Together the ants fight. They find themselves surrounded by support.

As I reflect this morning on the ants, I want to encourage those Christians around the world to remember – we are all in this together. We are all serving and working and living with an ultimate goal in mind. We need to be reminded of the hope that exists -the eternal hope. And we need to stay united – because there is nothing that the enemy wants more than to confuse us and take us off course.

Be blessed and remain steadfast like the ant!

Differences

Posted on September 24, 2015 by adrienneorris

There are days when I forget that I am living in a foreign country, and days where I cannot feel like anything around me is home. Differences often make things feel foreign, and there are so many of them between my country here and my home country. Some differences I notice daily, and others are so subtle that I don’t notice until I go back to the states. Differences are not always bad. They often mold us and cause us to grow in areas that we would not have done without being forced to do so.

One of the differences I am reminded of daily is that my culture raised me to always be in a hurry – and now I live in a culture that is not time sensitive. I am often on my motorcycle driving and I pass cars and other motorcists in the street and think – am I driving fast? The truth is that I am actually driving at a slow speed, but there is not hurry or rush to anyone’s lives. This is seen when I am at a corner store buying a water or waiting on something. In the states the goal is customer service and speed. Here both are defined very differently. I have adjusted to some of the speed of the culture, yet there are other days that I am not sure if I will every adjust to this speed.

Friendliness and Hospitality are two parts to this culture that I really enjoy. Although Guatemalans are not extremely emotional, they do greet each other when they walk into a room, or a store, or on the street to pass each other in a car. I am a person that lies to go unnoticed, but I have learned that if I walk into or out of a room without greeting everyone, that it is considered disrespectful. I also really like the willingness to help out – whenever and whomever. If I am stopped in the road, people will stop and ask if I need help. If I am asking about directions to someone’s house, I often get an escort there to make sure I find the right place. Often it is out of my comfort zone, but the difference is one that I will embrace.

Leisure activities. Often we say that there are none here. Because it is different. There are no malls. There are no movie theaters or restraunts or parks to visit. Travel is slow and the process can be painful. And so simple is usually what happens. A motorcycle ride around the same roads that I always travel. A walk up the mountain. An ice cream cone. Or a trip to the river.

Community. In the states there were places that you could disappear. You could disappear in your own house for a day and no one would notice. If you were gone 24 hours, most people would not ask where you were. Community has possibly been the most difficult adjustment that I have had since I have lived on my own for many years and am an independent person. Sharing a house, and a room and a car. Sharing meals, and responsibilities and decisions. Sharing frustrations, and trials and answers to pray. My life has changed from one where I made decisions on my own and didn’t have to answer to many other people in my life, to sharing everything that is done. At times it is suffocating. At times it gives me a head ache. But most of the time, I have embraced it as there is nothing I have to do alone. The greatest support comes from the community that is experiencing the very same trials and joys.

There are so many differences that give my life here a feel that I am out of my culture, out of my norm. The longer I am here, the more people I recognize though. The more people I know. The more conversations I have in the streets and the more brown I become… the most Guatemalan I become.

The Simple Life

Posted on August 30, 2015 by adrienneorris

So many times in this last month I have taken a time warp. When I was younger, Little House on the Prairie was one of my favorite series. I read the books, watched the series as well as other shows like Christy. As I rode through town on my old school motorcycle, and nearly missed a chicken running across the road and then watched a young girl scoop it up and put it in a bag without hesitation….. I was reminded of how I used to visualize things like this in my mind and now it is a reality. I went to the tailor to get alterations done and bought rice by the pound in market. There are some days here that feel like a time warp.

We have also experienced these life changes in the school, in the way education is done and nursing is done. We are constantly asking ourselves, how do we raise the level and yet keep the Guatemalan system. How do we do it with integrity and hold the students to a higher level?

What do you do when someone comes into clinic and is in need of a surgery that we cannot offer here? We do what we can and pray.

What do you do when the roads are blocked with protests and you need to get to the city? You suspend your trip till another time?

What do you do when the electricity is out for a “planned” power outage ? You go to bed early 🙂

The stark differences between two cultures that are extremely different are evident the longer that I live here. Likewise, there are things that I notice less and less. I am accustomed to people urinating wherever or riding in tuk-tuks. I am accustomed to 28 people loaded in the back of a cattle truck or adobe houses. I turn my head when I see a new truck in town. And many of reversions to a simple life and now every day life. There are fewer choices to make – because they do not exist. And so we live this life and ask for patience every day to endure that which comes at us challenging our faith.

You Said….

Posted on June 28, 2015 by adrienneorris

You said, ask and you will receive…. Whatever you need.

You said, pray and you’ll hear from heaven…..and I’ll heal your land.

Tonight starts our continual prayer and worship sets for 72 hours straight. The above signs are what hang at the school inviting those to come…. And so we ask …. For the nations…. We ask for the youth of this area. Please pray for all involved as we go forward. That the spirit moves and that hearts are open.

Darkness

Posted on June 20, 2015 by adrienneorris

Darkness.

This is one of the themes I have thought about a lot in the last month – figuratively, literally, and spiritually. The sun shines most days in Guatemala. There is color all around. It does not appear dark -but you can feel the darkness at times. Actually, most of the time.

I went to market today – an area that is bursting at the seems with people and chaos. People are shouting, kids are running around, everyone is moving. And as I walked through I heard screaming – very high pitched screaming. At first I thought it was a pig being led through the streets, but as I got closer I realized the sounds were coming from the back of a white truck. I tried to read what was written on the sign from a distance, but the screams haunted me and I did not want to get close. Written on the side was “Fantasia” but the sounds coming from inside were anything but a fantasy world. The screams were of fear and being hurt, not of enjoyment.

Darkness.

Ironically this truck was parked outside of the Catholic church. It was also accompanied by other demonstrations of “magic” and other “healings” that you could receive. To me – it was a demonstration of how dark this area is and how great the need continues to be. Sometimes while you live here you do not realize the oppression that falls on this place. You do not realize the heaviness that can entangle the people here. Yet when I leave, I realize it the most. When I set foot in a place that is not surrounded by this oppression. When I am among people who have not be strangled with this fear.

Darkness. While I was gone a boy who was only 12 committed suicide. 12 years old. Still in elementary school. A cry of desperation. A demonstration of the need to be released from this spirit that resides here.

And so we pray. More feverently. More passionately than we have before. That the youth in this area would step into the light.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. – Ephesians 6:12

Reflections on Home…

Posted on June 9, 2015 by adrienneorris

An article came out about a year ago that I read titled – Why Missionaries Can Never Go Home Again…. and many of the comments resonated within. As I read it again, I was reminded of many of the things that struck me with this time back home again. Everyone who is serving in a different country chooses to do time at home differently. Some rotate home for a year. Others rotate home on months. Some come back to their home country very briefly and others choose to never return. For me it has been sporadic – and each time increasingly more disconnected. There is not easy way to connect.

I had someone ask me if I felt more at home in America or more at home in Guatemala – and the truth is – neither. You feel on a bridge. Only at home in some areas of your life. Never at home in all of them. Guatemala will never become home because a piece of you is in the states and the states will never be home again because a piece of you will always be in Guatemala.

Life continues on while you are gone and the changes magnify. Even if you have talked with friends and family while you were gone, there is so much of their lives that you have missed – each time it is like starting over again. Their kids no longer recognize you, people don’t know what to ask – so they don’t ask, and you have missed so much.

It is hard to relate to my American friends because you are so separated from American culture and living as Americans do – and they cannot relate to what goes on in Guatemala because the ideas are so foreign to them. Many times you talk about what you are doing, but you summarize by cutting out each part of your life that others would not relate to… and that leaves a three minute summary. When you come back from a short term trip, there are so many more things to talk about because each day was exciting and new. Now each day is real life. Each day consists of routines. And the days flow together to create life as it now is.

As I have returned to the states I find myself driving down streets in town noticing how far apart the houses are and how much privacy everyone has (previously I felt claustrophobic when living in town).

I notice how green and lush it is and how empty the yards and streets are – not cluttered with dogs and pigs and chickens and plastic chairs and clothes hanging on barbed wire fences.

When I see Spanish, I find myself reading the Spanish, before the English that is right beside it.

I walk through stores and on the streets invisible – without the pressure to greet everyone that walks by. And if someone does happen to say something, my immediate response is “Adios” – without even thinking.

I forget how scheduled lives have become and how strictly we stick to those schedules. And how I feel now that I won’t ever really have a schedule again in my life.

I notice that I am the only one who doesn’t notice it is raining and look to immediately go inside or that there is grass all over my feet and I don’t feel the need to immediately wash it off.

I notice that when the music gets fuzzy on the radio, I still think it is amazing to be able to be surrounded by music while driving on a smooth road.

You complain about less, and embrace more. And for this I am grateful for my years living with less and loving more. Days of frustration with living outside of my culture that have led to surrendering many of the things in life that don’t matter – there may be grass on the floor, my clothes may not completely match and the music might be a little fuzzy – but they are all now acceptable and welcomed.

I will quote the article here and add the entire link below if you would like to read it…

Home is no longer home. And sadly, that other place on the mission field will never truly be home either. Home is both places, and neither place, at the same time.

When at “home”, the missionary dreams about their host country.
When in their host country, the missionary dreams about their home country.

Missionaries are forever caught between two worlds. They can no longer completely identify with the people whom they left behind in the home country. But they can never truly identify with the people in their host country.

Home is everywhere.
Home is nowhere.

But that’s okay. There have been other travelers on this road.

“These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.” (Hebrews 11:13-16)

While here on earth, we will always feel a bit unsettled and out of place. Missionaries and those of us living away from the place we grew up may experience that more than others. But someday, all those who trust in the Lord Jesus Christ will finally be home again.

http://www.dahlfred.com/index.php/blogs/gleanings-from-the-field/747-why-missionaries-can-never-go-home-again

The Scream in the Valley

Posted on April 20, 2015 by adrienneorris

I sat and listened to the scream that has covered the valley. To me it sounds like desperation as the locusts have taken to the trees. It is dry. It is hot. It is unrelenting at times. And so is the scream of the locust – unrelenting. It echoes from the mountains. There is no escaping it. I can almost pretend that it is music…. But that is a struggle. To me it is so annoying.

I went to the side of the mountain where the sound could not echo. I was trying to escape the sound. And yet it didn’t relent. I listened to it trying to distinguish what it was that I was hearing… and among the screech that was constant, there were a few individual sounds that were being heard. A few locusts who were singing out of sync. It was almost as if they were in panic. Screeching louder and faster than the others. Yet to hear this shrill, I have to be silent and still. We have to focus not on the noise around us, but on the individual. I find it easier to just take it all in than to hear one voice at a time. The truth is that I tried to escape this morning to gain clarity in what God is saying. I tried to hear that still, small voice. God says – Be still and know that I am God. And with all that is going on around here, it is impossible to deny that He really is God and He really is in control. The scream of the locust is the same as the scream of a student who is in distress. It’s the same as a neighbor asking for help or a child who doesn’t know how to express themselves. It takes the same concentration to see where the need is as to hear the single locust amongst the thousand on the mountainside. But this is what God is asking me to do these days… and so I focus intently on that still small voice and trust that God is in control of all. Be blessed today my friends and listen for the locust!

Fires have taken over the mountains on all sides. Because it is so dry, they spread fast. Farmers burn their fields to eliminate weeds and last year’s corn stalks, but the fires can quickly get out of hand. I like the beauty of fire on a mountainside at night – but only for a second as I realize the destruction.

With Love…. the 100th Post

Posted on March 16, 2015 by adrienneorris

I used to want to live to be 100. It’s on my bucket list. I still want to live to be 100. I just want to be able to still encourage and serve other people when I’m 100 – which I know isn’t the majority. When I was in college, I added making dinner for my children and their children on my 100th birthday to my bucket list. I’m still working on it.

And so when WordPress told me that this was my 100th post, I knew there was significance to that. This was the 100th memory I would be sharing…. and since 100 is a significant number, I wanted to show you some pictures of who I spend my days with and what I do….

First and foremost, I do what I do because God has called me here for this purpose in this time. Over the last two months, God has confirmed over and over again that we need to take the opportunities in front of us to speak truth and to love. God is love. Jesus is love. And sometimes all it takes is a little love to change someone else’s day. I have tried this year saying, “Whatever you have for me today Lord” every morning and to go into each day afresh.

To me teaching is pouring out love onto my students every day. Sometimes this is in the form of knowledge. Sometimes this is in the form of a bandaid or some Tylenol or an encouraging note or firm discipline. But each day holds the opportunity to display love. Teaching is really just a tool to point them towards Christ. But if they are excited about learning. If they see the purpose. They can exceed their own expectations. Learning will draw them towards Christ as their eyes continue to be opened and see things afresh and anew. Learning will draw them towards Christ when they hear truth and embrace challenges.

Over the years I have had 1832 students walk through my doors and into my classroom. Each year I add more. And each year the number of students I pray for and love upon grows. Would you pray alongside me today…..