It was her second day on campus and she was anxious to meet with me.  Jael contacted me over the summer through a friend and I had told her that yes I’d be willing to meet with her once she was back on campus.  She didn’t waste any time in getting a meeting set up.  And as I sat with her and listened to the anxiety within her woven with passion and excitement I reassured her that through the process of discernment during her senior year she would know that she is in the center of what God has for her and she will not choose wrong.  The anxiety is real in this generation for wanting to do what is right, wanting to be sure to do what God has planned for them.  Wanting to know how to find peace over next decisions.  And I know that this conversation will be played out with at least 40 students this year as the reality of decision-making hits them square in the face and they fear doing something wrong.  I want students to enter their senior year with the boldness and willingness to step into the calling that God has given them, and to begin to take the steps that they can while still on campus.

My own heart has wrestled over the last years for where God is calling me and what assignment he has for me. I have been deeply convicted throughout my 25 years in education that I cannot ask a student to do something that I am not willing to do myself.  I have wrestled deeply with the path that God has before me, His calling, His placement.  I have found myself walking in boldness so that students can walk in their own boldness. The confirmation to this calling comes as I meet with students, like Jael, and pray with them as they desire to be in a position where they can do life as ministry, and take on the role of disciple makers whether it is in the US or abroad.  I know God has placed me here in this season to live out that call and honestly, it is a difficult season.

And so I embark on my ninth season on the college campus with open hands for what God is going to do.  The question comes often, “What are you doing now?” and my answer remains the same, “Disciple-making.” It has been engrained within me for 30 years now – walking with students, pointing them toward Jesus and challenging them to not settle for comfortable. I am a disciple set on making disciples that will make disciples. The organization may change, the location might look different, but my boss remains the same – Jesus.  And the assignment remains the same – to walk with, disciple and launch the next generation.  Ministry is not just for across the globe and I have been challenged by this in the last eight years, seeing more and more the mission field on our campuses, even the campuses labeled as Christian campuses.  And so I embark on this journey of continuing in this season of ministry on campus and allowing the Lord to lead and direct.

In my role, I will be able to be on campus every day, meeting with students, leading discipleship groups, giving oversite to students in ministry and spurring students toward living out the gospel message.  The lyrics to Missionary Anthem have popped into my head often in the last month: 

The harvest is ready, We have to go
                        We won’t stop, Till the whole world knows
                                    The power in Your blood, To save every soul
                                                 We’re not ashamed of the gospel
I will preach the gospel

                           Die and be forgotten

                                       As long as You get the glory

And going right now looks like being present on campus every day. That no matter where I am, who is in front of me and how I am serving, God has called me to preach the gospel, lead others and to not take the spotlight off of the truth.  Surrendering to my will and taking up the cross.  Preaching the gospel will happen through conversations, support for students and leading discipleship groups this semester on the themes of “ What happens when you say yes to God” and “Practicing the Way of Jesus”.  I will also be meeting with leadership of several campus groups to help guide them in decision making.

This season comes with its challenges, trusting in God’s provision and partnerships.  Support raising shifts from being funneled through the church to being funneled through Christian Ministry Alliance.  

Praise Him through whom all blessings flow!  This leap of faith that I continue to take is not taken alone.  I will preach the gospel in words, in deed, in action and stay the course.

If you would like to be a part of the support team that helps support students, join the team on the Join the Team Tab on the main page of the blog.

For the Kingdom.

What does launching look like in ministry?

It looks like connecting one of your grad school students with the local FCA so that she can be mentored and learn how reach students at her new university and beyond.

It looks like walking beside a couple about to leave to teach over seas by giving advice on support raising and travel and packing.  It looks like countless hours of prayer and a listening ear as they walked the path of discernement, choosing an organization and a field.

It looks like listening to the heart of a student as he seeks the Lord in his future and standing strong in his beliefs.

It looks like stopping at a young adult’s house for dinner after losing their Pap and encouraging them toward the things that God has put in their heart and life eternal.

It looks like visiting a team of students who are serving overseas and helping them network and making connections with mission organizations that are on the ground in that country.  It looks like attending an orientation session and sitting beside a student as goosebumps go through her body and lightbulbs go off as she sees that this is something she could see herself doing and the eternal impact that it can have.

It looks like researching local churches in an area so a new believer that just graduated can find a body of believers to continue to disciple her and walk alongside of her.

It looks like a late night pep talk that God will provide in His timing as a student fears her future and feels like she can’t do what God is calling her to do.

It looks like meeting for dinner with a former student and her current boyfriend to ask him questions, get to know him and give my nod of approval.

It looks like meeting for coffee to talk though spiritual challenges and questions that someone has as they find themselves alone in a new community that doesn’t know them and just wants to know that someone cares.

It looks like visiting a young couple with their new baby and attending church with them to see where they are plugged in and  now serving.

It looks like sending encouraging notes to students who are at summer camp reminding them to be a light every day and that Jesus is shining thorugh them.

These are all moments from the last month of my life and many, many more as I have seen former and current students across the globe who are seeking the Lord and what He has for them.  I have spent hours walking and talking and listening to hears, guiding them and challenging them through difficult and exciting moments.

Launching is a term I use a lot and defines much of my ministry as I have learned that the current generation needs a lot of encouragement to follow their dreams. They want to know that they are seen and heard and that someone is behind them.  They want to make an impact, but they don’t know where to look.  They don’t want to do it as individuals or alone.  They need community.  They need adults willing to listen to them.  And they need to hear that they can do it.  And so, my work continues.  God leads, He guides, He opens doors and he connects hearts.  As one month flows into the next, many things remain and launching young people is at the heart of all that I do.

As the summer stretches on, my blog is being resurrected for many reasons. I do enjoy writing and sharing that which is happening in my small corner of the world. And as my job title changes, I know that I will need a way to stay in touch with those that are on my ministry team. This blog serves many purposes and outlines much of my life. Whether I have been serving in a public school, overseas on the mission field or on a college campus – my life remains the same. I want to disciple well those students that are in front of me. I want to raise up leaders in this next generation, empowering them in the gifts that God has given them. And I want to launch students for Kingdom Impact near and far. This is what I have been doing in all of my titles for the last 22 years and I have learned that wherever I travel, wherever I live – one thing remains the same. God’s stamp on my life came in high school. As John 4:34 became my life verse – My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish His work. And so, as I continue through July one thing remains – I am steadfast in this pursuit of that which I have been called. Trusting in His hand to lead and guide me. Celebrating here Senior Girls that were part of my discipleship group and whom have been launched for just that – multiplication of the kingdom across the globe.

I’m standing on the edge of, everything I know
Comfort is behind me, I’ve got to let that go
There’s freedom in the free fall, when I’m falling into you
God knows where I’m going, maybe I don’t have to

I lay me down at the altar
Over and over, over and over
From fear to faith, I surrender
Over and over, over and over

You take all my questions, as they’re wrestled to the ground
Patiently You guide me, You’re so good, beyond what I see now, oh
I don’t have all the answers, trust is what I need
My comfort is in knowing, You’re right here, You’re right here next to me

My heart has been anxious for the unknown of the future and the ministry challenge that I have sensed God has put before me… as I was prayer walking and asking God for confirmation, this song flowed through my playlist.  And hit me at my core.  Yes God, I choose to trust you.  Trust is all I need.

I’m standing on the edge of,

As I started off this semester I was hoping to just have some students to meet with face to face yet my expectations have been exceeded.  I find myself at the edge of the cliff again, wondering if God is asking me to take another leap of faith.  I see the sea of opportunity and the deep needs of these students.  I sense Him asking me not to be complacent with where we are and what is known but to trust Him for more. And as I wonder and pray through this, I heard this song for the first time and it spoke confirmation to me…

                                        Everything I know.

Comfort is behind me,

Am I to aim to live into comfort or move out of comfort?  To pursue God and pursue the life He is calling me toward.  Comfort isn’t just the materialistic things around us or the security in the future. He calls me to put comfort behind me and radically pursue the Kingdom.  It’s not just the areas of unreached people in the corners of the world that can be uncomfortable.  We are to push past our comfort here as we expand our reach on campus and in the community.  My flesh craves to just keep things at a level that I can manage on my own.

                                       I’ve got to let that go.

There’s freedom in the free fall,

This blog was named trustfall as I knew to step into ministry as vocation there would be many, many areas that would be unknown to me.  And I would have to step into the unknown, to stand on the cliff and let myself free fall into the abyss below.  That abyss has been full of a journey with so many other people and growth on all sides.   A journey of trusting God in the unknown and knowing that He provides in ways that I don’t see coming as He expands His Kingdom.  The gospel is for everyone and we are to be about this mission both near and far.  He has taken me far, He has brought me near and He continues to give me vision for what could be . To look over the cliff and know He is there.

                                                When I’m falling into you.

God knows where I’m going

I’m three years into visioning here, growing and expanding.  My flesh tells me to look back and reflect over these last three years.  To not expend myself more and take on more.  My reality tells me it’s 2020 which has been anything but a predictable year and leaves us with more unknowns in the future than I could ever think or imagine.  Yet the Knower within me will not rest.  It keeps me awake at night urging me to not become complacent or satisfied with the past. He knows the future

Maybe I don’t have to.

And so, as I finish out this 2020 year of ministry, my heart is overflowing as I move from fear to faith, as I surrender.  As I lay out the future once again on the altar.  Over and over again.  I feel like I have been asked to surrender the future and just trust in the freefall.  And because He has been faithful over the last twenty years of pursuing this freefall, I do it again.  Over and over again.  My comfort is in knowing, you’re right here, next to me.  You’ve wrestled my questions and the thoughts that I have as you remind me of this 2020 journey and the provision you have had over every single piece.  I may not have the answers, but I know who does.  And so

                                    I’m standing on the edge of everything I know.

Note – I found this in my drafts today.  Unpublished.  Yet still applicable as we are being asked to continue to surrender each day through this unpredictable time.  Praying for you all as you navigate change….

________________________________

God gave me an image, of all the times I have stood in church or in prayer and extended my hands out to him in a posture of surrender.  Empty hands, nothing in them.  Extended as an offering of what ever I was holding onto that I wanted to now give up.   Fear wants to creep in as we realize things are slipping out of our hands without control.  As if our hands are extended out, water is pouring water over them and nothing can slow this flow. We have been forced to surrender so many things in our lives before we even had a chance to give them up.  And it leaves us speechless at times and unsettled.  That is what March felt like – trying to stop the water as it slipped out of our hands.

It humbles us to know that even when we thought that we had surrendered all, there was still more. For many of us God has been redefining complete surrender.

We can’t minster or disciple in the same way. We can’t gather or encourage.  We can’t plan or predict our lives. So we find ourselves in a season of ultimate surrender.  I am sure many of you have found yourselves in one of these postures over the last few weeks.

If we curl our fingers just a little bit to try and hold onto that water, it still slips away.

If we squeeze our fingers together tight to keep the water from slipping through, it flows over our palms that much faster.

If we refuse to let go and hold on with white knuckles, it still is pulled away from us.

If we clasp our hands together into one unified fist cupping the water, our hands quickly tire and we are left no choice but to stretch them out wide.

And so, what is to learn through all of this as we move through these seasons of surrender?  We find that peace comes when we extend our hands out and allow God to have it all.

This is particularly important concept for me in ministry lately as I reach out to the emerging adult population.  This time of life is a vulnerable point for them to begin with and this crisis has proven to really rock this group.

Many of them have lost job offers, internships, study abroad opportunities, their communities, commencement, work is not available for the summer and some have been told they could not graduate because they did not finish internships or clinicals.  Their lives have been put on hold and they don’t know when or if they will resume.

The same as many of you.  I was encouraged to receive the words of one of my students this week when she wrote me –

I am learning through all of this that my plans were not God’s plans.  I feel like I have lost so much in just the last two weeks, but I have also gained so much as my perspective has shifted off of me and onto God.  As I have been anxious over all of these decisions, I realize that this God I am learning to know isn’t anxious at all.  And I am to trust in His redemptive nature through all of this.

And that is my hope for all of you right now – that through these weeks of uncertainty, you’re able to trust God that He will redeem this time for His good. Hands stretched in ultimate surrender.

So what does all of these mean for me?

So far it has doubled my work and my stress, the same as the rest of you I am sure.  We are all in this time of constant change.  But a bright side is that it is an opportune time for ministry.  So many students find themselves at a crisis moment for a 20-year-old.  Their entire worlds have been changed and they are trying to make terms with the fact that they will not have their athletic seasons, senior recitals, spend time with friends, or have face to face teaching from professors……  For them their world revolves around a small bubble called campus and it has just disappeared from their lives.  Expectations have been shattered.  Internships that won’t happen, summer scholarship opportunities that have been cancelled and so they are left with this changing life amongst the chaos that surrounds them.  And so through these last ten days I have been on campus with students working through the decisions and trying to look for the positives.

My challenge to them is, “Did you trust God last month?”  And when they say yes, I then answer….then we must choose to trust Him now as well.  Because nothing has changed in His world.  This world seems to be shaken to the core, but we are given a choice – to look toward the opportunity that is out there or to fall into a chasm of negative thoughts and fear.

There will be a season of grief for these students as they realize the abruptness that happens.  But they are also a generation that is extremely flexible.  And so as the new normal settles in and this world determines how best to quarantine, we will press into the opportunities for ministry that abound.

And so what will I do as they are away from campus?  Ministry.  My work will actually increase as I have to do new things and learn new skills.  As we move forward and follow recommendations, we will determine how best to gather and walk through this together.  I also will be abruptly changing my ministry to a digital platform.  Praise Jesus that this generation is tech savy!  We will meet digitally as if we were in the same room for our weekly meetings and Bible Studies.  I will call students individually for discipleship time instead of meeting in person.

For me it is also a time to grieve as we were gaining momentum in much of our ministries.  I always love March and April because it is a time where I really have developed relationships with students and can see fruit.  And so just as I am challenging students to make the decision to continue on despite the circumstances, I myself must rise to that challenge as well and engage with students.  There is still work to be done and a harvest that is ripe.  I do not want this year’s crop to lay in a wasteland so I have committed to pressing into this next season that God has quickly brought upon us!

Will you be praying for me as I prepare in a different way and for the students as they find themselves isolated and many of them with much uncertainty.  I am praying for you all as well as this is not just something hitting college campuses, but every home.

This was our bowling event that we had during the Deeper Life Conference.  So excited for the momentum we had going into March.  Pray for these students as they were dispersed!